"SHEMEJI WA SHETANIi: The Househelp, The In-Law, and The Man of God" | BY JOHN MSAFIRI

Once upon a mtaa in Nairobi West, lived a man of prayer, praise... and, apparently, poor decisions. Let's call him Brother Mapangale. During the day, he was the deacon who quoted Bible verses fluently—"Train up a child in the way he should go…"—but at night, the only training happening was behind his wife's back. Acha tu.
Now let’s talk about the modern Kenyan home, where the househelp has become more than just the cook and cleaner. These days, she's also serving a full-course nyama ya roho to the baba wa nyumba, and sometimes even getting more protection than the legally wedded wife. I mean, why is mama watoto being scolded for shouting, but the housemanager gets defended like she's on witness protection?
One day, in a matatu from Eastlands to CBD, I overheard two grown men whispering in deep Dholuo, thinking no one could understand. Wacha wajue Kiswahili si lugha pekee. One guy said, "Bro, kama hujawai kula kwa housegirl, utalia mbele ya nyumba."
The other, shocked: "But I thought you’re born again?"
He replied, "Na Solomon hakuwa? Alikuwa na wake wangapi? Kama God alibariki wake zake mia moja na suria mia tatu, si basi tuko ndani ya scripture?"
Pause. Let that sink in.
And don’t even get me started on shemeji wa mtaa. Sister-in-laws, some of whom are now a permanent fixture on the husband’s GPS. Wifey thinks she's getting a surprise visit from her sister, but kumbe Mr. Man left the house with an overnight bag and the words, "Work trip, babe, emergency."
Fast forward to a hotel in Rongai, and there they are: sister-in-law and brother-in-law, popping champagne, laughing like secondary school deskmates, calling each other my person. Then when they meet later in the main house:
"Aaaw, shemeji! Long time! You taking good care of my sister, I see!"
Shemeji responds: "Always! You know your sister is my queen!"
(Meanwhile, only God knows what crown she’s wearing.)
The question is: Why do men marry?
Is marriage now just another public relations stunt? People post wedding photos on Facebook, but the ring disappears faster than Ugali in a Luo wedding.
And women? Some have also tossed their wedding rings into the same drawer with unused gym memberships and old Safaricom lines.
It begs the question, "Is the institution of marriage still sacred or is it now just a society-sanctioned situationship?"
Let’s refer to Proverbs 5:18-19: "Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth... may her breasts satisfy you always." Not the housegirl’s. Not shemeji’s. The WIFE.
But hey, maybe the new verse is: "Thou shall pretend like everything is okay in the living room while hell breaks loose in the bedrooms and hotels of this Nairobi."
Even in Kikuyu culture we say, “Wira wa mucii utangagwo ni mucii” (The affairs of the home are known by those inside). But nowadays, everyone is inside—and I mean everyone.
As we wrap this sermon, let us ask ourselves: are we raising a generation that values vows, or just vibes? Is for better or worse now just for now and when convenient?
Ladies and gentlemen, if you ever see your shemeji smiling too hard when you're introduced, just remember: not every smile is innocent. And if your housegirl suddenly starts wearing lipstick in the kitchen, call HR. Because the enemy is no longer outside—he’s in the compound.
To be continued…

JOHN MSAFIRI
Media Relations | Content Creator | Strategic PR & Communications Specialist

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